How to Help Autistic Kids and Pre-teens Enjoy Parties: A Parent's Guide

14th January 2025

Does your autistic child or pre-teen feel overwhelmed at parties?

Social gatherings are moments of joy and connection. However, for autistic children and pre-teens, social events may sometimes feel overwhelming.

Remember, you are not alone in your struggle to help your kid navigate social events. It is possible to make parties enjoyable for all by building social skills for autistic kids and pre-teens strategically.

Are Social Events Necessary for Autistic Kids and Pre-Teens?

Yes! Social gatherings help autistic kids and pre-teens develop the necessary skills:
 

• Build lasting friendships
• Improve communication
• Boost self-confidence
• Learn age-appropriate social skills

However, loud noises, new places, and meeting people can be challenging. Good planning helps make these events positive experiences.

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Getting Ready for the Party

Preparation! Preparation! And preparation! As you already know, autistic children and pre-teens can be sensitive to social gatherings, so preparation is the only way to help you out. Here are some steps to prepare them:

1. Use Visual Guides

Create age-appropriate guides showing what to expect:
 

• For younger kids, use pictures and simple drawings
• For pre-teens, try schedules or checklists
• Include the timing of activities
• Show who will be there

2. Practice Social Skills

Role-play different party situations:
 

• For children, practice basic greetings and games
• For pre-teens, work on casual conversations
• Practice gift-giving and receiving
• Learn how to excuse themselves politely

3. Watch and Learn

Watching videos of similar events can help autistic children understand what will happen. You can find helpful videos on YouTube or make your own. Show age-appropriate party videos to help them grasp typical party behaviors without pressure.

4. Build Up Slowly

You can start with smaller gatherings before events:
 

• Try playdates with young children
• Small friend meetups with pre-teens
• Family get-togethers
• Casual hangouts

Party Day Tips

When attending events, use these strategies to develop social skills in a child with autism as well as pre-teens:

1. Time It Right

Attend only the parts of the event your child can manage. Stay as long as comfortable:
 

• Younger kids might prefer shorter visits
• Pre-teens may want to stay longer with breaks
• Leave early if the situation calls for it

2. Pack Essential Items

Bring age-appropriate comfort tools:
 

• Noise-canceling headphones
• Favorite gadgets or toys
• Stress-relief items
• Personal music players for pre-teens

3. Create Safe Spaces

Work with hosts to find:
 

• Quiet rooms for breaks
• Less crowded areas
• Safe spaces to recharge

4. Bring Support

Have a trusted adult nearby:
 

• Parents of younger children
• Understanding relatives for pre-teens
• Friends who know their needs

Hosting Your Party

If you are hosting a gathering, make sure you follow the following tips:

1. Keep It Structured

Plan age-appropriate celebrations:
 

• Set clear schedules
• Choose familiar venues
• Plan activities for different age groups
• Include transition times
• Send detailed invitations with the timing
• Create visual maps of party areas

2. Consider Sensory Needs

Create comfortable environments:
 

• Moderate sound levels
• Comfortable lighting
• Familiar foods and snacks
• Quiet zones for all ages
• Control room temperature
• Avoid strong scents or perfumes

3. Plan Engaging Activities

Choose age-matched fun:
 

• Young kids: Simple games and crafts
• Pre-teens: Video games or hobby-based activities
• Mixed-age group activities
• Individual and group options
• Backup activities if some don't work out
• Themed stations for different interests

4. Create Comfort Zones

Set up special areas for breaks:
 

• Reading corners with books
• Calm-down tents or spaces
• Sensory play stations
• Device charging stations for pre-teens
• Comfortable seating options
• Well-marked quiet rooms

5. Manage Food Options

Consider dietary needs and preferences:
 

• Label all foods clearly
• Offer simple and familiar options
• Include gluten-free and dairy-free choices
• Serve snacks in separate containers
• Have water readily available
• Time food breaks thoughtfully

6. Handle Gift Opening

Make it stress-free:
 

• Consider opening gifts later
• Create an organized system
• Have helpers manage gift tracking
• Keep gift pile neat and organized
• Plan breaks during long sessions
• Consider skipping traditional group gift opening

Long-Term Skill Building for Social Events

Social events often reveal areas where autistic children may require additional support. Utilize everyday opportunities to develop these skills over time.

1. Daily Practice

Use everyday chances to build skills:
 

• Board games for turn-taking
• Family meals for conversation
• Group projects for cooperation
• Age-appropriate social media guidance for pre-teens

2. Handle Challenges

Help them learn to:
 

• Manage competition and losing
• Read social cues
• Handle group dynamics
• Self-advocate when needed

Common Problems and Solutions

Social events can pose challenges. But with proper preparation, you can overcome most of these challenges:

1. Managing Sensory Overload
 

• Provide personal space
• Allow tech breaks for pre-teens
• Have quiet activities ready
• Use calming techniques

2. Structuring Social Time
 

• Organize small group activities
• Set clear expectations
• Include preferred activities
• Allow flexibility in participation

3. Supporting Communication
 

• Practice conversation starters
• Use communication aids if needed
• Teach age-appropriate slang
• Respect communication preferences

4. Creating Understanding

Help others understand autism across age groups:
 

• Explain different comfort levels
• Share simple support tips
• Encourage inclusion
• Promote acceptance

Bottom Line 

Every young person is unique – use these tips to create celebrations that work for your child. With thoughtful planning, support, and adequate training on autism courses in Indonesia, you can transform parties into positive experiences for autistic children and pre-teens.

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Written By : Varsha

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